I Won’t Forget

Mo 2 1 uhr 56, 29. 6.1992

I could not believe,
I was totally unprepared for
The sinking feeling
Which hit me.
All my insides seemed to drop through to the floor.
My knees trembled,
My hands shook.
Then, walking, trying to pull myself together,
I saw the color fading from the mountain,
and either I had gone deaf,
or the birds had become mute.

I have not felt such a strong emotion
For many a year; nor tears so close
to the surface, my breathing impaired.

It is summer in the nest,
but winter in the heart.

I won’t, I can’t

I found this in Patrick’s mail, along with a letter dated 17 July 2017 too personal and painful to share here, indicating that the poem was written 29 June 1992.