Tate’s Groaners

Found these in Patrick’s mail box, sent by Stephanie’s brother Tate on Hallowe’en 2016. Enjoy! Patrick probably did!


P,
Thought you’d like these groaners.
T

  • Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
  • How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
  • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
  • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist
  • They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.
  • I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
  • I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  • Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
  • I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
  • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  • I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
  • I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
  • Velcro – what a rip off!
  • Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.