I’ve Had Enough Of This

Here’s a recording with Patrick less than a month before he died. His pain is evident in his voice. I’ve included a transcription below.

PM: … or I can send them to you I guess …

JP: Yes that will be fine

PM: (groaning)

JP: So the stomach still hurts …

PM: (groaning)

JP: The back still hurts …

PM: Yeah

JP: The ribs are better from where you fell? You haven’t said anything about them lately.

PM: Yeah, they’re better.

JP: You probably pulled a muscle up there.

PM: I can still note where it happened. It’s not so painful. Anyway, I’ve had enough of this.

PM: This is the last test. Let’s see if they can figure out what’s wrong, and quickly work on it.

PM: I have to wait until Tuesday to see the doctor who will interpret the results. After that I hope they can do whatever it takes to fix it. Who knows what they can do to fix the spine.

JP: Well, there are a lot of things, but they probably don’t want to do surgery if they can avoid it.

PM: Yeah, of course, but if that’s what it takes, I’m up for it. Somebody… who was it I saw the other day? She was about 80, and she had back surgery recently and was fine.

JP: It makes a difference.

PM: First they have to decide what’s wrong, then what to do about it.

JP: That’s right. Yeah.

PM: In the mean time I have to somehow stay out of depression.

JP: Yes, yes.

PM: That’s a danger.

JP: And stay calm. Not move too much. I’ve probably worked you too hard with our little outings.

PM: Well, I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get carried away.

JP: Yeah. We’ll have those memories anyway, those were…. Despite the pain you were out and about.