14 December (Poem by Stephanie)

Stephanie’s brother Tate sent this poem to me to share on the site. You can see the handwritten version more clearly by clicking on the images, but the copies are faded so it’s typed here as well. 

Page 1

Nobody, nobody at all
is going to care
when I die.

My brother and I were our mother’s
legacy to the world.
My father left his papers and letters to fill
in the gaps of what I know of him and what I didn’t.

I have a son alive somewhere in the world
a son I gave up for adoption
when I was nineteen and he was born a 9-month baby in the 9th
month of the year 1960

I as a child–mother gave up my
responsibility for his life.

Page 2

Where is he now?
Is he well – happy?

Nobody, nobody at all
is going to care
when I die.

No child of mine
will want to hold dear
the moments of my life.

My son – adopted
living where – how
will ever know me.

No one, no one at all
is going to care
how I lived and died.

My soul, my soul’s life
had himself made sterile.
We will have no child.

When I die
no one at all
is going to care.

patrick (a Poem by Stephanie)

It seems appropriate to post this on Valentine’s Day, that Hallmark card celebration that can nonetheless be used to convey real love. I’ll post the back story that goes with it when I get a chance.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

– Part of a collection of pieces Patrick sent me on 11 August 2015 called You Never Know.

Letter to Sissy

Here’s part of a letter from Stephanie to Sissy (Stephanie’s Aunt Lillian) dated 42 years ago today, describing the love that she and Patrick share.

Click on the image to enlarge it so you can read it more easily. 

 

Letter to Sissy, 20 July 1976